I dreamt of Michael again. Not the Rat Basard who's still living. But Michael.
It was the 4th of July, and i was carring aorund a staff or someting like it. we, all of my family and shawna's friends, where all at Shawna's house. I was walking along when Michael came out of the door i was walking by and pointed a tob BB gun at me. he shot off a soft pellet at me getting my attention. looking at me he grinned his boy-ish mishgevious grin and told me to follow him. I followed him into the bedroom he just came out of, and he showed me were a bunch of fireworks were. Fireworks even shawna had forgotten or didn't even nkow abou. Shawna came in the room, Mike gave me a hug and went to sit on the bed, she didn't even see him. I showed her the forgotten fireworks and cryed when i told her that Mike had shown them to me.
Why do i always feel guilty for dreaming about Michael? I dont know why, but i do. but when i do dream of him, i feel like crying, but at the same time i have an overwhelming sense of him hugging me comforting me. for not reason. gods...i miss him so much.
¬_¬If only I could sleep...
Last night...or this morning...either way you look at it.
i had a dream that Amber hated me...she truly hated me...and it scared me because i felt like i was drowning in the lake near my house and i couldn't do anything about it. life jackets were everywhere and i couldn't touch a single one of them. then it switched over to prom...and i was with this weird guy...he told me he broke up with a girlfriend that i didn't know he even had. so...ya...weird
¬_¬If only I could Sleep...
my dreams where nothing short of nightmares...
i dreamt that i was falling a good portion of the time, and if i wasn't, someone was yelling at me. a lady with messed up teeth, clothes from the 60's, big wide glasses, and dark brown matted hair that hung to her mid back.
i dont like being yelled at...nor do i like to fall.
¬_¬If only I could sleep...
things are getting weird.
resently, my dreams are just to hazy and nothing seems clear, but one thing. Mikal is always basically present in my dreams. like a ghost. but a bit out of reach...it's too weird for me to think. because last time i dremt of someone, it was because their subconscience keeps calling out to something. i believe that i pick it up. Example: Hayden. him and his suicidal thoughts always "sort of" got to me and told me that something was wrong but he never really would own up to it. so, it matters not any more. bleh.
¬_¬If only I could sleep...
